What do I miss about life before my injury?

In the last couple of months people have asked me what I miss about my life before my injury. The answer is everything! How could I not miss things, it changed everything about how I thought my future would turn out. I miss not being able to just get up and go. I can still get up and go, but it is more like get up and in a little while I will go. If you add all the transfers I have to do in and out of my wheelchair and extra personal care, it adds time to my day. I am not trying to be negative just honest because it is the truth. I wasn’t born with a disability, I sustained one when I was 17 years old. I miss things that we all take for granted when we are used to having it. When you all of a sudden wake up one day and realize you can’t walk it is life changing. I missed out on my senior year of high school. I missed out on being co-captain of my soccer team. I missed out on my dream of becoming a nurse, but who knows even if that would have happened. I was young and could not predict how my future was going to turn out, and no one else can either.

My disability impacted so many aspects of my life, and something that I miss the most is being able to talk to someone eye to eye. It is hard to carry on a conversation with someone when they are a lot taller. I miss my family because I chose to move away from where I grew up to get away from the snowy winters. I miss the friends I grew up with and seeing them now having kids. I miss the fact that it is not as easy for me to just have a baby. I know I can have a baby and have thought about it a lot, but my body has already been through so much. That is why I would love to adopt a child someday. I miss being able to get to know someone easily without having the conversation always turn to my disability. I miss just being in the crowd and not always being looked at because of my wheelchair. I miss not being able to feel my legs. So here are some answers to the question people have asked me about what I miss about my life before I was injured. Now let me tell you what I have gained because of my injury.

Being injured at 17 years old, I was already in a transition period in life and not settled into college, marriage, children or a career. I could plan the rest of my life around my disability. When someone sustains an injury later in life the results have not always been good. Unfortunately, I have seen these injuries cause divorce, or a disruption in their careers. I have also seen many good things come out of it as well because when something traumatic happens it can bring family and friends closer together. After my car accident I really found out who my true friends were. My life is still not as I imagined it would be, but at 32 years old I think that is normal. Disability or not, I think I can still relate to many women that don’t have a disability. There is such thing as a biological time clock and I have felt mine ticking. If marriage and kids are in my future that is great, but I will not plan my life around it and I will not settle. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. What I will do instead is live my life now and not stress about the future. That is one thing I am not sure I would have ever learned before I was injured. I can really appreciate the saying in life, “Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses!” The life lessons that my injury has taught me is to live for today, enjoy what you have because you never know what might happen tomorrow.

Tammy Wilber
~Remembering to stop and smell the roses~

Remembering Christopher Reeve on his 56th Birthday, He will always be our Superman!

It is hard to believe that Christopher Reeve is no longer with us, and of course the loss of his wife Dana as well! Today would have been his 56th birthday. He has done so much for the disability community, and specifically for people with spinal cord injuries. I remember how shocked I was when I first heard about him being injured. I mean he was Superman!

Christopher Reeve is someone that brought a face to people with disabilities and the hope of trying to find a cure. He started the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, which does everything from fundraising money for research, to being an advocate for everyone with disabilities. I almost had the chance to meet him years ago at a disability camp that I went to in Newport, Rhode Island called Shake-A-Leg. He was at the camp to speak to all the campers with disabilities and missed his visit. However, I had heard an interesting story from one of the other campers that got to visit him after he spoke at the camp. The camper said that just by spending a few minutes talking with him, he realized that if Christopher Reeve can live with his disability, so can he. The camper was someone that was newly injured, very depressed, and didn’t want to go on with life. Just by being around Christopher Reeve, not only was he inspired by him, but he said Chris’s spirit was contagious. I never found out what happened to that camper, but I hope he is still doing great and that he will never forget his visit with Christopher Reeve.

I used to work for an injury prevention program called Think First, which was a non-profit organization and for about 5 years we received a $5000 grant from the Christopher Reeve foundation. This money was allocated to our “disability public speaker training program.” We would find people in the community with brain and spinal cord injuries and taught them how to tell their story. These speakers would then go on to educate students of all ages in school assemblies to use their minds, to protect their bodies. I first started out as a participant in the speaker training program and within a year I was running it. So, without the help of the Christopher Reeve foundation I would have never gone on to become a public speaker, and a teacher to others.

A very good friend of mine, Elaine Stefanowicz from Tacoma, WA, was Ms. Wheelchair 1996 and went on to become Ms. Wheelchair America in 1997. Through all her travels as Ms. Wheelchair America, she had the honor of meeting Christopher and Dana Reeve at a benefit for their foundation and this is what she had to say about them both.

“It was a thrill to be able to meet Christopher Reeve and his wife Dana. It was truly an experience I will never forget,” said Elaine Stefanowicz, Ms. Wheelchair America 1997.

In the spirit of what would have been Christopher Reeve's 56th birthday, I am going to honor him and his dream of seeing a cure for spinal cord injury by making a personal donation of $56 dollars. I hope that this will inspire some of you to do the same.

Tammy Wilber, Injured with SCI since 1993
~Today’s Care. Tomorrow’s Cure.~
(The motto of the Christopher and Dana Reeves Foundation)