Time for People with Disabilities to vote- Your Voice Matters Your Vote Counts!

According to a website on the census of how many people have disabilities of some sort in the United States; are about 58 million people. With that amount of people affected by disabilities in the United States, this election is very important that we all get out there and vote! I wasn’t someone who always thought this way about voting because I thought politics was boring, but I am glad I woke up and am now educated.

With the elections right around the corner, I just wanted to pass along some important information about voting. Since I live in Washington State, I know that the deadline to register to vote is 30 days prior to the elections. However, if a person is not yet registered they have to go in person, TODAY, to a county elections department.

I am glad I did my research ahead of time because when I was helping my mom figure out how to register online to vote, since she is a new resident to Washington, I looked myself up and saw my status to vote was inactive. I didn’t update my new address when I moved, which was my error, so I am happy I got it all straightened out in time.

If you are from a state like mine and today is the last day to register, get going because it is so important for this election. If you are not sure about the voting requirements or when your state deadline is this website seems helpful:

http://www.declareyourself.com/voting_faq/state_by_state_info_2.html


If you are registered to vote and still are unsure of your decision on which you are going to vote for, I suggest taking a look at the candidate’s different websites:

1) Here is a link to Obama’s plan on disability issues:
http://www.barackobama.com/issues/disabilities/

2) Here is information on McCain’s plans for Veterans:
http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/Issues/9cb5d2aa-f237-464e-9cdf-a5ad32771b9f.htm

3) Also, on McCain’s website, here is some information about people with disabilities, and what they have to say about McCain’s views of Americans with Disabilities:
http://americanswithdisabilities.johnmccain.com/AmericansWithDisabilities.htm

I am not going to share with you who I am voting for because I am writing this blog solely to educate you. I want you to make your own choice and remember that who you vote for is going to affect all of us in different ways, from health care to employment, and the future of the American’s with Disabilities Act. I know there are a lot of other issues to consider, but my game plan is vote for who I think is going to make my country better, and who is going to look out for people with disabilities.

Tammy Wilber
~Don’t miss the boat, Get out and VOTE!~

My Hero, My Inspiration, My Friend…

In life, we all have people that inspire us, and sometimes they don’t always realize how much. I hear from a lot of people that say I inspire them, and while that is a compliment, I feel it has a lot to do with my disability. Strangers have approached me and said I inspire them because I can drive a car, and go grocery shopping by myself. I do understand why people say this, and I don’t think it always has to do with the fact that I have a disability; it is just life. I think we all have people in our lives that inspire us to want to be better. When I really reflect on my life and think about everyone that is dear to me, the one person in my mind that always rises above the rest is my hero, my inspiration, and one of my best friends, Danijela.

In the fall of 1993, I was finally being discharged from the rehabilitation hospital after a long 3 month stay. I had gone through intensive physical and occupational therapy after I had a car accident, which left me with a spinal cord injury. I found out that a couple of weeks after I was discharged they were admitting another young girl with a spinal cord injury, and her name was Danijela.

Accompanied by her mother, Danijela was 13 years old when she came to the United States, and she was being sponsored by a non-profit group called Veterans for Peace. In the early 1990’s, Danijela was a victim of the war in Kosovo, and came to the US to get treatment after she had been shot. I was excited at meeting someone from another country with a spinal cord injury, especially because she was a girl close to my age. After she began learning English from watching television, we started sharing our stories with each other, and we have been best friends ever since.

After a few months at the rehabilitation hospital, the Veterans for Peace organization found a host family for her to stay with because she did not want to go back to a country that had a war going on. She transitioned into a high school, and I was so happy she would be living about a half hour from where I lived. Danijela said if she went back to Kosovo, it would have been very hard to live there with a disability because things are not very wheelchair accessible. After 5 months, Danijela’s mother had to go back to Kosovo and then Danijela was all on her own. She was by herself in the US, living with a wonderful host family, attending high school, and she had a permanent spinal cord injury, all at the age of 14 years old. Over the years she became part of my family as well; we helped her out on many occasions, and even took her to Disneyworld on vacation.

Fast forward to 2008, and at the age of 29, she now has a 4 year old beautiful little boy named Srdjan. A few years ago I got upset at Danijela because every year she was so great about always calling me on my birthday. Well, it got late in the day, so I called her because I thought she had forgotten. Instead, she informed me she was in labor and had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. Danijela is someone that has truly overcome many obstacles, which I admire her for. She works a full time job, is a single mom, and hasn’t been back to Kosovo in 15 years. I couldn’t image not having my mom, my dad and family in my life, and yet live half way around the world from them. Luckily after many years, her mother and father finally got to meet their new grandson, and visit with Danijela. They were only able to stay for one month here in the US, so they did as much as they could in a short time, to make up for the last 14 years that they all had missed. Unfortunately, I was not able to get back east to visit with her family, but I know it was a dream come true for all of them.

Danijela has shown me what it means to be a true survivor. When I have bad days or just need to talk, I call Danijela and she is always so upbeat and positive. When I think of her, I really have nothing to complain about because I have my family here, and Danijela's family is so far away. Danijela and I may live 3000 miles apart, but no matter where we are, we will always be in each others lives. When I went back east to visit my family a couple of months ago, I got to see Danijela, and it was like no time has passed. Since her son Srdjan is only 4 years old, she was trying to explain to him who I was, and I was blown away by what she said when she introduced me. Her comment was, “Srdjan, this is Tammy, the person who taught your mommy everything she knows how to do in a wheelchair.” After so many years of going through life’s challenges with a disability, I guess Danijela and I never really said how much we learned from each other.

It just goes to show you that sometimes you have no idea how much impact you can have on people. I am not perfect and I have bad days, but from the outside looking in, I can see how people can be inspired by the fact that I have a disability, and I am still able to work full time, volunteer, travel, drive a car, and do most anything anyone can do. What is really important is that once in a while; take a moment to tell people that they inspire you to want to be a better person. That is why I wanted to write and share this with Danijela, who is my hero, my inspiration, and my friend.

Tammy Wilber
~Inspiring others, and to being inspired~

On another note; I do have to point out that besides Danijela having such a positive impact in my life, if it wasn’t for the support of my mother throughout all these years after my accident, I don’t know how I would have gotten through many challenges. So, to my mom, she is my backbone, my strength, and also my best friend. If I wrote about her, it would be a novel, and I don’t know how to write a book, so now I am sticking with blogs.

Handicap Parking Abusers: Part 2, Top 10 Excuses

Most people have witnessed people parking illegally in a handicap spot, and maybe have even wondered what their disability is? If you have a disabled placard/license plate, you probably have heard some of the excuses I have listed below.

If you have not yet read my blog titled, “Handicap Parking Abusers: Part 1, Excuses, Excuses, Excuses,” then you can see how I have lead up to part 2. First off, I would like to state that if I think someone is parked illegally, I don’t just rush over and rudely ask them what they are doing. I use a nice approach because I understand that people have hidden disabilities. I wait until they get out of the car because, like me, my disability is not visible until I get my wheelchair out. If I suspect someone could have a hidden disability and I don’t see a permit, I will just say, “Excuse me, but I think you forgot to hang up your handicap placard.” This is when I usually catch people, because if their response is, “I don’t have one,” then I will know they shouldn’t be parked there. I find that at this point I can say nothing or try to make a point, and remind them what they are doing is illegal.
Top ten excuses I have heard over the years:
1) My foot hurts!
2) I have a disability; I just forgot my handicap placard.
3) I used to have a disability.
4) I am running errands for my mom, and it is her disabled permit.
5) People that just give you the “blank stare.”
6) Or how about the “nothing answer,” because the person speeds away or ignores you.
7) The best one is just people who say, “I am sorry and won’t ever do it again!”
8) I didn’t see the sign.
9) I will only be here for a second.
10) There was nothing else open.

These are just a few of the excuses I have heard over the years. If you would like to share any with me I would love to hear them.

Tammy Wilber
~To no more excuses, from the handicap parking abusers~

Handicap Parking Abusers; Part 1- Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

I have read many different blogs from people with various disabilities about their frustrations with people who abuse handicap parking. I have wanted to start a handicap parking enforcement program for a long time, and have heard about other communities who have successful programs. I know plenty of people that would volunteer their time to do catch these handicap parking abusers.

Just this past weekend I was trying be a good citizen by going to a local shopping plaza with some other people to remind people to register to vote. As I wheeled around the shopping plaza, I couldn't help but sit near some of the handicap spots to try and catch violators. In less than an hour I had 4 encounters, and here were their excuses:

1) One person apologized.

2) The second person was waiting in the car for his wife, as she returned something in a store. I "nicely" pointed out that he was parked illegally. I told him that the handicap sign does not say, "Please wait here for your wife.” He had the nerve to tell me to loosen up, get over it and he drove off. ( I was very nice to him)

3) The third person just ignored me, so I assumed maybe they had a hearing impairment,

and couldn’t hear me when I tried to talk to them. Or they just forgot to put up their placard. Who knows the real truth behind that person’s situation because I understand people have hidden disabilities.

4) The fourth encounter was with two men who parked their SUV in a handicap spot, only to have it breakdown on them. I asked them why they were parked there in the first place, and both men just started screaming at me. As they raised their voices, and called me very ugly names, a nice man walking by asked the men, “Why they were harassing a women in a wheelchair”. I told the man that they were parked illegally and he called the cops. I didn’t get to see the end result, but since their car had broken down, I hope they were ticketed, and towed.

This has inspired me to want to get some people with disabilities together and go to the local police station to try to start up some kind of handicap parking enforcement program. Being in a wheelchair this is truly when I feel so disrespected by people. Why can’t they just admit they were wrong? When someone parks illegally in a handicap spot and they see someone in a wheelchair approaching them, why don’t they get the heck out of the handicap spot? Some people just don’t care, and when they have the nerve to speak back to you it just boggles my mind.

I could go on and on about this subject, but what I would like to hear from other people is how do you handle the situation with handicap parking abusers?

Tammy Wilber
~Handicap parking abusers, are just disrespectful and wrong ~

Do you ever feel like the only female in a wheelchair?

When I was first injured, it took 6 months for me to connect with another female in a wheelchair to ask her women related issues about spinal cord injury. This happens to a lot to newly injured women, so my friend Anne and I wanted to start a group, and in 2005, an opportunity presented itself. I am on a committee for a group called the SCI Forum, at the University of Washington Medical Center, which holds monthly meetings to provide current information on a variety of topics relevant to the SCI community. I made the suggestion to have a “women’s only” night forum, so Anne and I gathered as many women with SCI we knew, and ask them all to make their best effort to attend. Well, it worked and at the end of the meeting we gathered 12 women’s contact information, and that was the beginning of what we first called the Women’s Wheelchair Washington Network. “Since the majority of wheelchair users have been male, we felt a need for a support network for women, where issues and problems unique to women can be discussed,” said Anne Bostwick, who has SCI and is the Co-Founder of the group.

Over the next 3 years, our group has grown beyond just Washington State. We recently changed the name to the Northwest Women Wheelers Network (NWWWN). “We now have 56 members in all age groups, including single mothers, working women, and retired women. It has been an especially important resource for newly injured women,” said Anne Bostwick. The network has been connecting through a list serve, but we have started building a website.

The NWWWN also holds gatherings like barbeques, recreational events, jewelry parties, holiday parties, and some members started a book club. In mid-September, we held our s annual “end of the summer barbeque”, which VARILITE sponsored. When I told the members that VARILITE was going to sponsor the location, the women were thrilled because no one has ever sponsored any of our events. At the picnic, everyone gathered, met new members, socialized with old friends, and enjoyed the wonderful weather. Sawnie Geer, a member with Multiple Sclerosis, who could not attend the VARILITE sponsored picnic, said that this group has been more than just a network, “The NWWWN means a chance to meet new friends and get some new insight into living with a wheelchair. It also lets us "vent" in a positive way with others that understand what we're going through.”

I am just so happy to have the 56 women with various disabilities to be able to reach out to when I need it. Just knowing that I have a group of amazing women, that come from such diverse backgrounds, to share information with and ask questions about is great. It makes me feel like I am not alone, and I know other members feel the same way. It has been wonderful to help start this group and see how much it has grown in just 3 years. The Northwest Women Wheelers Network has done so much for so many people, and I can’t wait to see it grow! My dream is to see this group keep growing, and maybe it will one day become a national group, but for now I am happy to have a place to not feel like- the only girl in a wheelchair!

Tammy Wilber
CO FOUNDER of the Northwest Women Wheelers Network
~It’s about women on wheels, not just heels~

I thought I was short before I was in a wheelchair!

(Not as tall as I used to be)

Being in my wheelchair is so challenging at times because I am short and people don’t see me. I thought I was short in high school, being only 5ft 2 inches. I try to be very aware of my surroundings, but since I only sit about 4 feet high, I am always getting bumped into. Have you ever been waiting in a line at a store and the person standing in front of you just backs up? Next thing you know they are tripping over you and falling in your lap. I usually just say – If you wanted a place to sit, all you have to do is ask nicely. Seriously, does it ever just get to you, being so short? I was disappointed this past summer when I went back east to visit my niece and nephews- who are 6, 7, 11 and 12. All of them are now taller than me, even my youngest nephew who is only 6. I do have to say, giving kids rides on my lap is so much fun because it gives them a different perspective of my wheelchair. Next thing you know I became an amusement ride and the kid’s line up to take turns for a ride on Aunt Tammy’s lap.

It is an interesting world when you are so short. I love being stuck in a crowd and all I can see is people’s behinds or the front of them. Also, with the different fashion trends now-a-days, people who wear their pants low I have one thing to say “Pull up your pants!” I don’t need to see your underwear so up close and personal. I remember when I went to a Grateful Dead concert in college, right before Jerry Garcia passed away, I was suffocating because I got stuck in the crowd. My friend was with me and we kept moving our way up to the front .The further we went, the more we got stuck. It got to the point where we could not move in any direction and were completely stuck in a particular spot. It was so crowded and hot that day, I started hyperventilating and was dehydrated. Then I felt like I was going to faint. My friend tried to get a hold of the medic’s, but the crowd just wouldn’t move. Once we finally got the medic’s attention, they couldn’t get to me and I was getting worse. So we had only one solution- lift me up in my wheelchair. I thought no way, but I didn’t care I just needed to get out of that crowd. So, right before the Grateful Dead came out onto the stage, the crowd picked me up while I was still in my wheelchair, and people carefully passed me over the crowd and put me on the concert stage. I guess you can say I crowd surfed in my wheelchair at a Grateful Dead concert! That is not something that happens everyday. After I was placed on the stage, and even though I wasn’t feeling well, I couldn’t help myself, I turned around and looked at the endless sea of people. Then I put my hand up like – YEAH!! I will never forget that moment being on the stage that Bob Dylan and the Grateful Dead played on. The story ends with me resting in the medic tent for a while and then I enjoyed the concert in a safe location.

Another thing about being short is that I often feel left out of conversations too. I will be sitting in a group, and while people are talking they are all eye level with each other, except me. Sometimes I miss out on what people are saying or I will try to talk and people won’t hear me. I have tried numerous times to vocalize so people can hear me, but I feel like I am yelling. Also, if I am wheeling in the mall or cruising around somewhere it can be tough to have a conversation with someone that is able-bodied because I am often looking down towards the ground. I often look down while I am wheeling because I am trying to avoid things like cracks in a sidewalk. Or if I am not looking where I am going I could run right into someone. I am jealous of the people that have lifts in their wheelchairs. I love the power wheelchairs that elevate, or the IBOT that goes up on two wheels. I got a chance to try an IBOT out and it was amazing. There are even manual wheelchairs out on the market that act as a standing frame and it is pretty cool. Being at eye-level is something I miss, but being short makes it easy to win a limbo contest!

Tammy Wilber
~Short, yet Sweet~

Tails and Toes- How many do I have to run over in my wheelchair?

For years I have always tried so hard to be very careful about not running over people’s feet in my wheelchair, especially their toes. Heck, if it happens, I will always feel bad. I feel like I need to take out personal injury insurance in case I ever break someone’s toe. At least I use a manual wheelchair and if I run over someone’s toes it is not a heavy power wheelchair- ouch! I am sure either wheelchair hurts no matter what, but I try to be careful. At times there are moments when people step on my feet if I am not in my wheelchair. I often transfer out of my wheelchair at movie theatres and of course on airplanes, and that is when it happen's the most. Sitting in a dark movie theatre, I can’t stand up to let someone by, so they step on my feet. Then I get an apology, and look at my foot to make sure nothing is broken since I can’t feel it. Or when I am on an airplane, I always prefer a seat by the window. Since I get loaded first on the plane, and if my seat assignment is not by the window, I explain to the flight attendant that I HAVE to sit by the window because I cannot get up to let people by. Trust me, it works to tell the flight attendant that because they want to help and I usually will get a window seat. If not, I take the window seat anyway and just tell the passenger that they will have to crawl over me if they want to get up during the flight. Most passengers give up their seats.

On a different note, the title of this includes tails, and this is in reference to my own cat. I have this cat, which ended up with the boring name of just Kitty, and after 10 years she still doesn’t get it. When I am wheeling by her she doesn’t move out of the way. I am surprised after all these years my cat’s tail hasn’t been amputated. I do look out for her, but even when she is laying right in my path, I yell MOVE, and she just looks up at me like no way! I have taken chunks of fur out of her tail numerous times, and she let’s out a screeching meow, but she still hasn’t learned, and probably never will.

So, to all the tails and toes out there, watch out for wheelchairs, and we will do the same!

Tammy Wilber
~To wheeling and watching~